P90X…Here We Go!

My husband and I have started P90X.  We’re doing the classic schedule.  Today is officially day two.  Yesterday was Chest and Back and Ab Ripper X.  Wow it’s so painfully (and I do mean painful still today 😂 ) that I have been doing a whole lot of cardio for a long time.  I can tell all of my strength isn’t gone, but I have some work to do to get back where I once was.  

My husband killed it.  

Today was Plyometrics- so walking tomorrow should be fun.  🤗

I love working out, and I admire fitness physiques in Oxygen and Muscle & Fitness Hers, so a weight training based program is what I should be doing for the results I want.  

The hard part is diet.  I’m not sure why I have a hard time linking my diet to my physique in my brain.  I know I’m an emotional eater, but it’s like I know what exercise can do to help me reach my goals.  I just have a disconnect when I want crap food… 

I just need to think…what would the people I admire physically do…

Ok, time to go drink more water 💦 


Stress is Never Going Away 

I live a stressed life.  I have two special needs daughters, and one is 13 and STILL possibly being diagnosed with more.  Waiting is never easy, especially when it can change your daily life and prognosis in a moment.  

Don’t get me wrong, everyone has stress.  I’m just working on finally accepting it’s not going anywhere for my family.

 I put on 12 pounds during the last 18 and 1/2 weeks o TurboFire.  I let my guard down.  I thought I had this emotional eating kicked.  I thought I was doing so good.  I was KEEPING THE WEIGHT OFF.  I knew what I was doing.  I was over it…after 40 years of using food to control emotions. 

I was an idiot.  

I have to stay vigilant.  I like to over eat when I’m stressed (and I know that is a constant) and beat myself up and then restrict until I binge after beating myself up for overeating.  I’ve done it all my life.  

P90X in a week and a half!  I can’t wait…I want some muscle now! I have some…but I know at 40, my metabolism and shape will be so much better!!!

August Goals

I’m going to keep August goals simple.  The end of June brought my daughter’s seizure and a July full of anxiety and eating too much.  So, here’s to letting July go completely.  There is not a thing that can be done about it now.  I’ll just be glad it’s a new month and keep going. 

1.  Weekly summaries vs daily – Chalene’s program has a daily worksheet to review each day.  I’ve found that nearly impossible to make myself do EVERY DAY.  One of my favorite podcasts “The Productive Woman” recommends a weekly summary.  I think the weekly summary seems much more “doable” for me.  Of course my myfitnesspal daily food log will be there and to do, but I will review weekly.  The August goal is to give this weekly review a try. 

2.  Speaking of weekly…no more middle of the week checking my weight.  Monday weigh ins are pleanty.  I KNOW I’m not going to see some huge difference on Wednesday.  There’s no reason to let myself get discouraged. 

3.  Finish TurboFire- I will finish the 20 week program on 8/27.  Another Beachbody shirt added to the collection. 

4.  Start P90X on 8/28 with my husband.  🤗

Of course my daily calorie, water, and macro goals remain.  

How Do You Do It?

I wish that was the answer 😂 

I’m writing this because I’ve seen it again.  A Facebook friend of mine from high school recently lost a significant amount of weight.  She looks AMAZING, and the comments of support came flooding in.  

Then, the questions started.  Some friends of hers asked how she did it. Now, my friend was positively GLOWING in her picture.  She told the truth.  She’s eating less, counting her calories.  She’s drinking a lot of water.  She’s exercising.  

Then the comments changed to excuses why they couldn’t do those things.  

I felt her pain.  I’m sure she gleefully told them what she has been doing.  She wanted the world to feel how she feels.  She found the answer.  She truly wants to help everyone she cares about.  

They want

She didn’t give them a pill name…some shake, patch, waist trainer, or something they can later sell.  It wasn’t some wrap.  

It sucks to realize some won’t ever come around.  They’ll ask for your help over and over and over.  They won’t like the answer, so they can’t hear the answer. 

I’m 5 weeks from starting P90X.  I want to lose a few more pounds before I do.  Nope, I’m not fat.  I want to be leaner before adding muscle.  

I’m counting calories, drinking water, watching macros… and what no one wants to hear

My goal is more important…food will come at my planned next meal.  I’ll live… I wish I could save my friend the frustration that comes with wanting so badly to help people who resist the help. Oh great, another way I can’t help 😂 

It hasn’t gotten easier for me either…and I’m Wonder Woman 🤗

No Choice?

I’ve been experiencing some feelings of workout/diet burnout.  I know, I know, it happens.  It can happen to me for a few different reasons. 

  1. I could be depressed.  My youngest had a bad seizure..and if that wasn’t bad enough, simply went to her yearly check up and left with another referral.  I guess now we will have another specialist.  She’s 13 and still not one sign of puberty…not…one.  I have to schedule with an endocrinologist to possibly find out why. 
  2. I could be tired of my program.  TurboFire is so much fun, but I have 5 more weeks of 20.  I will finish it.

Besides…I’m pretty excited about starting P90X with my husband at the end of August.  

I want to age like Dreya in the P90X videos

My husband says I’m built like Jillian now…so I really shouldn’t complain 

So, I started rereading the Beck Diet Solution.  I got to the part to make a response card stating “NO CHOICE.” I have always subscribed to the idea that I have a choice.  I choose to be healthy and workout so much.  By definition, I’m a success story.  I was obese.  I’m healthy now.  

Maybe there is something to this for me right now.  If I give myself a choice right now, I choose ice cream, tears, and long days on the couch.  Maybe right now I need to give myself no choice…because my choice isn’t based on my choice results….whoa.  Revelation.

So I will do the workouts.  I will swallow the supplements.  I will count the calories.  Eventually l’ll come around to choosing it again.

When Stress Takes Over (aka This Past Week Was a Diet Fail..The Nightmare That Was Last Tuesday )

I’m going to share the nightmare that was last Tuesday.  My husband made a very touching video about it all, and he’s the one that was actually there for the nightmare.  I’m not an in front of the camera person.  I write. 

We have three daughters.  Their ages are 19, 14, and 13.  The 14 year old has multiple disabilities, and chances are we’ll never know them all.  The last appointment with the behavioral doctor, they estimated she’s mentally 12 months.  The 13 year old has autism and epilepsy.  She’s more high functioning; she’s mentally 2 or 3 years.  

The 13 year old had a seizure Tuesday.  She had localized seizures in the past.  She had face twitches or staring spells.  She was on medication for them a few years ago.  The neurologist (who is one of the best) took her off seizure medication due to her having trouble gaining weight.  Tuesday, though, was her first grand mal, all over, full body seizure.  I wasn’t there, but she turned blue, slumped over, and was not breathing.  My fast acting amazingly smart husband gave her mouth to mouth and brought her back around.  After calling 911, he called me at work.  That hour was the longest drive ever to get to the hospital.  My husband had to obviously stay with the 14 year old.  My mother in law thank goodness met the ambulance at the hospital.

My daughter is ok now, home, and tapering up back onto seizure medication. She remembers nothing.  

My husband and I, we will never forget.  This past week my diet has been best described as “screw it, I don’t care.” Until of course, the weigh-in today.  It’s not as bad as I earned it to be, but it’s time to reign it back in.  I know how easy it is to get completely side-tracked.  Our girls need us healthy.  

So, I’ll drink the minimum 80oz of water, and I’ll keep my calories in check.  I’ll forgive last week, too, because almost losing one of the loves of your life is an unbelievable reason to be emotional.